Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
