Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
