she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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