I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
