And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
