we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
