I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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