Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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