i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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