She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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