She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
