You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
