is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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