I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
