I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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