idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
smell my finger.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
