The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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