Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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