the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
