I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
