Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
jump out the window naked night went bad
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
