just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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