Please, let me fuck your mom
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
