it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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