The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
