Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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