I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
