so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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