Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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