we're blogging at a bar
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
