I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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