our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
