my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
