Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
