we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
