new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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