: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
