Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
