Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
