porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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