2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
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do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
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Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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