nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
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I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
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Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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