yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
