Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
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I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
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If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.