SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
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There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
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Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.