Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.