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• (404): View more from Georgia

  In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she has to be all "alternative"

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• 

  These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?

  (573): View more from Missouri

  pat the guy you slept with

  (314): View more from Missouri

  still need a last name

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.

  (1-985): View more from Louisiana

  Do I have a choice?

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day

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• 

  21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (705): View more from Ontario

  I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.

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• (714): View more from California

  Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  I can't even make a guess how that goes.

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• (516): View more from New York

  Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.

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