Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just sucked dick on a ferry