I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
