I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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