Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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