ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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