my mouth tastes like poor choices
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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