i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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