I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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