So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
