i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
