At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
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We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
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I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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