Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
