It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
