hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize