Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
This toilet bowl is my home.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
