I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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