omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
