Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
