Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
