You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Randomize