she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
