there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
