Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
