That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
