Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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