I must be too annoying 4 u.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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